Upon my recent trip to the mall, I saw your every day sights like moms and their strollers, angst-filled teens, those Asian chicks that try to push extensions on you, etc. Out of this myriad of people, there is one group that really stands out and in this author’s eyes, has brought forth many questions. This would be the “old person wearing high socks with sneakers and/or loafers” group.
Now, I know that unless you live in a terribly cold climate, you’ve seen one or two of these guys at the mall, supermarket, Sbarro, or what have you. They’re probably wearing some sort of golf shirt tucked into a pair of jean shorts or Dockers shorts with socks that come up to the bottom part of the short hem.
This phenomenon brings so many questions to mind, most of which I would like to address and hopefully answer.
When you get old, you need a P.O. Box for all of your Fat Chick Porn.
Question 1.
Is there a definitive reason for these socks to be hiked so high?
It could be anyone’s guess, however I’m going to try and break it down scientifically. We see these seniors wearing them because they are wearing shorts. Now, thinking about that, perhaps they debated that morning of whether or not to wear pants. Taking notice of the temperature outside, they might feel as if pants might be over doing it but they do not dare risk having a cold leg, hence the socks pulled up to the knee to compensate. I mean that’s the most logical thing…right?
Question 2.
Why is it that only older gentlemen are the ones flaunting this style and at what age do they feel that this is the way to wear socks?
These questions are much more simple. Some older men lose body hair when they get older. So, going along with my answer for question 1, it makes sense to make up for the lack of coverage in that area. We may not see it but, if they’re loosing pit hair, they may be rocking the armpit sock. This all probably starts at the age of 55.
Question 3.
Do they know that they look kind of funny when they do this?
Yes, if you think about it, fashion is just an interesting thing in general. Remember JNCO jeans? Point proven. At any rate, they are setting a trend. Just look at the Eve 6 video for “Inside out” and check out the girl on roller skates.
by aurelooo
All in all, I already have a few socks saved for when I hit that ripe age.
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They are wearing high socks because they have always worn high socks. It’s the pants that got shorter, not the socks that got longer. They are white because every old person knows that the dyes in colored socks promote skin rashes; white socks can be bleached to prevent fungus infections; white socks can be washed more often without having to be replaced and are generally cheaper to begin with; white socks are thicker and help ease the pressure of bone on skin because the fat and padding that once protected the bottom of your feet went to produce that gut you swore would never attach itself to you, but don’t give a damn about anymore. Long white socks hug the leg with better and more elasticity. My father who’d be 113 if he had continued to qualify, always wore dark dress socks with sock garters that wrapped around his calves and clipped onto his choice of black, dark brown or navy socks: even when gardening. I never saw him in short pants or short sleeves. Any old person knows it’s easier to clean a pair of shorts than a pair of slacks. Rich old men’s wives don’t usually let them dress this way.
Lala