Luis Olmo and Mickey Owen(Associated Press)
It’s Summer; and that means it’s time to play ball! I’m not a huge sports fan (by which I mean, I’m not really a sports fan at all), but Baseball has always held a special place in my heart. You can watch anyone play it and it’s enjoyable (even kids…especially when you’re 6-beers deep, yelling expletives at their coach). You can play it with friends pretty much anywhere…and most importantly, it’s not fucking hockey.
Unfortunately, the ‘Great American Pastime’ has been sailing up shit creek with the onslaught of Steroids scandals across the board. When the game became primarily about knocking balls into the stratosphere, players started getting ‘Juiced.’ You can’t really hold it against them; if the only way they’re going to keep their multi-million dollar contracts is if they can use the ball as a guided missile.
But that being said, we can reflect on the good old days when men were men; out-of-shape drunks and drug addicts were the poster boys of the sport…and they all preserved the original size of their testicles.
Recently, Philadelphia Phillie and two-time Seattle Mariner Raul Ibanez was accused of ‘Juicing’ because of his unwavering power swings…well, the oft-silent Ibanez flipped shit and basically told his accusers that they could go fuck themselves to death…which is what we Philly fans admire in our athletes.
No real commentary here, except that perhaps some day we can put all of this steroid business and rivalry bullshit behind us; then we will once again live in a time when a Philadelphia Philly and an LA Dodger can sit cross-legged and hold wrists like a couple of old kitchen bitches.
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